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Friday, July 30, 2010

Uganda's First Action Movie, 'Who Killed Captain Alex?'

What does “Uganda first action movie from Ramon film productions” mean, exactly? There’s just no telling, because that shit couldn’t have been written by someone that speaks English. Or maybe it was and they were in mid-stroke as the sentence went on, which is a theory that makes complete sense when you read what comes after all that Yoda backwards talk:

Film eno ekwata ku kibanda amajje gwe gaagoba mu kibuga ne gamulumba ne mu kyalo jjeyali ye kukumye.yatabuka bwebawamba muganda we natuka no kulumba basi ya majje eyali egumbye emabega wa police station. A wo we wafiira ne Captain Alex.atamanyibwa ani yamutta.kya mu waliriza okuba ne helicopter ya police n'akuba ekibuga.

It could be another language. It could be the language they speak in Uganda (Ugandinese? Ugandish?). But there’s a good chance it’s a result of that thing we said earlier. The stroke thing.



We’re going to have to say that this might be one of our most anticipated movies of the year. There was Toy Story 3, which was wonderful. Then there was Inception, which was also wonderful. Scott Pilgrim looks pretty damn good so far, but, and we’re just being honest here, it doesn’t look nearly as good as this movie with its people shooting guns while swinging off a thing, a helicopter that can destroy skyscrapers while soaring at the speed of light times infinity speed, and worse-than-internet-porn production values.